On Missing Thursday Clinic


It’s happened. The day has finally come: I don't have to go to Health Science Centre (HSC) this week. Not for blood work, not for transplant clinic, not for any tests*.

What will I do with myself? What do normal (healthy) people do with all their time?****

I can’t help but wonder who will feed the William ave parking meter gods; those grey boxes need to be appeased on a strict two-hour basis between the hours of 9 am to 4 pm or they get angry and summon the parking meter behemoth to disperse parking tickets far and wide. And those tickets, my friend, are expensive.

Oh! And the dear, sweet underground parking attendant who sits, dutifully, in her plexiglass box day in and day out: will she wonder where I've gone? Will she worry? Be puzzled? Will she wait in vain for my weekly four or eight or twelve dollar parking absolution payments?

And the lab technicians, those white-coated ladies of blood who love spoiling the kiddo. Will they too, wait fruitlessly, syringes poised in hand, expecting me and my well-needled right arm to present itself at the usual 8:45 am time slot?  

What will the less-friendly-than-the-white-coated-ladies-of-blood Starbuck’s barista do in my absence? Who will order a bag of popcorn (Kiddo’s), an apple juice (also Kiddo’s) and a tall milk-and-honeyed mint tea (mine) next week?

What do other people do on Thursdays?  


*I’ve been a regular attender of HSC for the past seven months, when another kidney was unceremoniously plopped into this belly. Since that time, it's been a minimum-once-a-week appearance at the hospital lab, clinic and/or ultrasound T.V-on-all-the-time grounds. In fact, some weeks it has been as much as six out of seven days that I have found myself sitting in one of those wobbly blue chairs somewhere in that medical institution. If only HSC counted as church, then the halo above my head would be nice and shiny by now.**

**I don’t have a halo above my head. Not that I know of, at least. If you see a halo above my head, please tell me.***

***On second thought, please don’t. I like you. I don’t want to walk around thinking that you are a crazy person who sees halos above people’s heads.

****Having a chronic illness is like having a part-time job. It’s like having a part-time job that, rather than earning you money, takes money from you. Really, overall, it’s just kind of shitty.*****

*****Healthcare in Canada is free, but healthcare in Canada is not actually free. Last month, this "free" healthcare cost us $67 in parking fees.